In this video “Physical Symptoms and Emotional and Mental Changes to Look for” Mary Alexander from Home Instead Senior Care stresses that recognizing the physical and emotional signs of aging doesn’t take a lot of time and some symptoms you can even “hear” over the phone.

The issues underlying physical and emotional signs may be tough to face, but ignoring any of them could prove dangerous and costly to your loved one.

This video is the second of four videos on this topic, and there are many other educational videos that you can find at CaregiverStress.com. 

If you have any questions about how to work best with an aging parent, how to recognize the signs of aging and when to call for additional caregiving help, please call your local Home Instead Senior Care office.  In Richmond, the number is 804.527.1100.

In this video series “Aging Parent Care,” Mary Alexander from Home Instead Senior Care explains that, while there are lots of good reasons seniors want to stay home, one of the fears that drives this desire is the potential loss of independence.

They so much want to avoid being a burden on their families and to maintain their lifestyle that they often deny their true need for care and make bad decisions about what they really need to do to remain at home. But there are signs, and this video series tells you what to look for.

This video is the first of four videos on this topic, and of many other educational videos that you can find at CaregiverStress.com. 

If you have any questions about how to work best with an aging parent, how to recognize the signs of aging and when to call for additional caregiving help, please call your local Home Instead Senior Care office.  In Richmond, the number is 804.527.1100.

We often bemoan the curse of contemporary technology and its insidious assault on our time and attention. The distractions are endless – ringing cell phones, beeping text messages, and buzzing Twitter alerts.

But let’s face it; if you were a long-distance caregiver, or even a local one with a full time job, wouldn’t the prospect of being able to be in two places at once intrigue you just a little?

By now, you’ve probably heard of Skype, even if you’re not exactly sure what it is or how it functions. You may have witnessed how advertisers have used it peddle cookies where a young boy and his father share a goodnight ritual across three continents.

Skype allows subscribers to make free voice and video calls via the Internet, making it the perfect application to offer relief to the long-distance caregiver to help bridge the miles between themselves and their loved ones.

A recent article from the New York Times Health blog explained how a Skype-enabled video of Nancy Crawford, age 100, in Charlotte, NC and visiting her doctor was joined – from his workplace in Montgomery, AL six-hours away — by her grandson Johnnie Crawford. The geriatric care manager who’d accompanied Mrs. Crawford to the appointment provided the Skype link, bringing along a laptop with a Web cam.

Mr. Crawford, frustrated by his inability to drive the 400 miles to Charlotte as often as he’d like, appreciated the connection. “I’d do it again,” he said, “to impress upon my grandmother that I care, to show the people who care for her that I’m involved, to ask the kind of questions I’d like to ask. I hope I’m representing her the best I can.”

The addition of a Home Instead Caregiver can make the arranging of transportation to and from medical visits a headache-free procedure for the long-distance family caregiver. We can assist in finding more ways that having a home care helper can enable a family, separated by distance, to maintain an active role in the lives of their elderly loved ones.

For more information on how Home Instead Senior Care of Richmond can provide care and companionship to help aging loved ones in the Richmond and Northern Neck areas remain living independently in their homes, please give us a call at our Richmond (804.527.1100) or Tappahannock (804.443.4883) home care offices any time, or view our digital brochure at http://hisc189.digbro.com/.

Seniors often don’t realize that getting a little help now, when they’re getting a little older, can help them remain living independently for a lot longer than if they try to do everything on their own. 

Following are strategies from Home Instead Senior Care^® and family caregiving consultant Dr. Amy D’Aprix to help family caregivers turn resistance into assistance.  

1. Understand where the resistance is coming from.  Ask your parent why he or she is resisting.  “Mom, I notice that every time I bring up the idea of someone coming in to help, you resist it.  Why is that?”  Oftentimes older adults don’t realize they are being resistant.  
2. Explain your goals.  Remind your loved one that you both want the same thing.  Explain that a little extra help can keep her at home longer and will help put your mind at ease as well.  Have a candid conversation with him about the impact this care is having on your life.  Oftentimes seniors don’t understand the time commitment of a caregiver.
3. Bring in outside help.  If a relationship with a parent is deteriorating, ask a professional, such as a geriatric care manager, for an assessment.  A third-party professional can provide valuable input.  Also, go to www.4070talk.com for tips on how to talk with a loved one.  If you are having problems getting through to your older adult, consider asking another family member or close friend to intervene.  If you’re not making headway, perhaps there’s someone better to talk with your parents.
4. Research your options to find the best resources for your loved one.  Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or a geriatric care manager to research resources in your community.  Or download The Home Care Solution, a guide for family caregivers to help them find the best in-home care for their loved ones.  If you decide outside help is needed, reassure your parents and tell them you have researched caregivers and you are confident you have found the best one you can find to come into the home to help.
5. Respect your parent’s decisions.  Sometimes you won’t agree with your parent’s decisions and that’s O.K.  As long as your loved one is of sound mind, he or she should have the final say.   

A note:  If your senior has dementia, seek professional assistance from a doctor or geriatric care manager.  Logic often will not work and other strategies must be employed. 

For more information or to get answers to your questions, please contact your local Home Instead Senior Care office.  In Richmond, we can be reached — anytime day or night – by calling 804.527.1100.  Or you can visit our digital web brochure at http://hisc189.digbro.com.

Dr. Dale Atkins was featured on the Today Show this morning talking about the idea of “role reversal” when faced with caring for an aging parent, which she says is really not so much about that. “Your parents are always your parents,” she says.

Taking care of yourself as a caregiver is important and getting a team together to help you is beneficial, too.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Atkins adds that having an online support group as well as family members available to help you discuss the critical and emotional issues will help relieve the stress often associated with caring for your elderly Mom or Dad.

Check out the video above and Dr. Atkins’ book entitled “I’m OK, You’re My Parents: How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works.”

Home Instead Senior Care provides many resources to family members facing caring for an aging parent, including a website with educational videos at CaregiverStress.com. If you or your elderly loved ones are in the local Richmond or Northern Neck areas, we can help you with your unique and individual situation by simply calling our Richmond home care office at 804.527.1100. Our office line is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to help you with your senior care needs.

And if you need assistance outside of the Central Virginia area, simply visit http://homeinstead.com for additional locations.

You can't always be there with Mom. We can help.

The Baby Boomer generation, typically, has been characterized as a block of people who think and act as one monolithic generation. However, recent data from the MetLife Mature Market Institute®, show that Young, Middle and Older Boomers grew up during disparate “eras” and are now at different stages in their lives. They should, perhaps, be treated as separate demographic groups.

In both a series of demographic profiles and a new study, The MetLife Study of Boomers in the Middle, facts are emerging about how distinct the segments are.

What Does A Middle Boomer Look Like?

Born between the years of 1952 and 1958, the Middle Boomers have characteristics that make them distinct from the their younger and older cohorts beyond the obvious age differences.

• The Middle Boomers are looking forward to retirement (setting their sights on age 65), have a high net worth ($100,000 or more, excluding their home value) and are currently in their peak earning years.
• More than half (54%) say they are behind on their retirement savings goals and that many who have delayed retirement have been affected by the economy.
• One-third of the Middle Boomers expect to receive an inheritance from their parents in the amount of $181,000, slightly less than the Oldest Boomers and behind the Youngest Boomers who expect $208,000.
• Two-thirds of the Middle Boomers report having at least one parent still living, and half still have children living at home.
• They are not yet empty nesters like the Older Boomers. Fourteen percent are providing care to older parents.

How Do Middle Boomers Manage The Workload?

Let’s review. Many Middle Boomers are:

1. Still working full time
2. Have children still living at home
3. Are taking care of one or more older parents

How does this person find time to perform the daily tasks of meals, errands and housework, much less the daunting task of finding trustworthy and reliable services for information about caring for parents?  Often they try to take on the responsibility of caring for an aging parent by themselves, only to find it is highly stressful and that they don’t have all the answers.  They know they need help but are not really sure where to turn.

Why Home Instead Senior Care Can Help

Home Instead is designed to be a resource for reliable in-home care and companionship service to the active seniors, the elderly and the home-bound.  We are also here to provide links to reliable sources of information about planning for the final stages of life, common sense tips on how to plan and prioritize your needs and goals, and help in making the best decisions that will have a positive impact on you and your loved ones. 

Simply call our Richmond home care office, anytime, at 804.527.1100.  Home Instead Senior Care can be an invaluable resource to the Middle Boomers who find themselves in the stressful sandwich generation.

P.S.  Home Instead Senior Care serves both Richmond and Tappahannock.

Need some additional caregiving help for an elderly loved one?   Want to make sure your Father or Mother get some additional help around their home to help them remain independent?  Always wanted to know more about how Home Instead can help reduce stress and lighten your caregiving load if you’re the family caregiver?

Well, there’s no better time than now to make your appointment for our free, no-obligation home care assessment and to start having those conversations.  For a limited time, you’ll receive a free copy of Stages of Senior Care: A Step-by-Step Guide to Making the Best Decisions as our thank you for your time and for meeting with us in person.

Simply call our office at 804.527.1100 to make your appointment and mention the offer code “STAGES” when you call.  While our offices are open during the week, our phone lines are open 7 days a week for your convenience including Saturdays and Sundays.

The just-released Stages of Senior Care: Your Step-by-Step Guide for Making the Best Decisions

Stages of Senior Care is more than a book.  It is a reference guide for family members or seniors who want to gain a better understanding of all the many care options available to seniors. 

It explains the various options and the advantages and disadvantages of each.  You’ll keep it nearby and will refer to it again and again as senior care needs change from independent living to assisted living to hospice care and everything in between.

Again, Stages of Senior Care is our free gift to you for simply meeting with us in person to review your senior care needs whether those include light housekeeping, meal preparation, medication reminders, transportation, personal care or companionship services. 

Just call our Home Instead office at 804.527.1100 and mention offer code “Stages.”   Offer good while supply lasts so don’t delay.  Offer available in Greater Richmond and Northern Neck areas served by our Home Instead Senior Care offices in Richmond and Tappahannock.

Once again, our CEO and co-founder of Home Instead Senior Care has been featured in a prominent publication. 

This time, Woman’s Day magazine features Paul Hogan in an article entitled, “How to Care for Aging Parents: try these strategies to make helping Mom and Dad less stressful.”

There are literally millions of baby boomers who are caring for their aging parents.  If you happen to be one of them, this article contains some helpful advice such as: 

• Be Prepared
• Explore the Options
• Think Twice about Relocation
• Talk Money
• Ask for Help

A elderly parent’s sudden stroke or fall can alter an adult child’s life quickly, so it’s important to have the caregiver conversation when everything is still fine. Use the 40/70 rule, suggests Paul Hogan, coauthor of Stages of Senior Care. When you’re 40 or your parents are 70, talk to them about their preferences.

For additional tips on caring for your aging parent, you can download the 40/70 brochure here:  The 40-70 Rule: A Guide to Conversation Starters for Boomers and their Senior Loved Ones.

And for more information about how our Home Instead CAREGivers can help both you and your aging loved one, please call our Richmond home care office at 804.527.1100.  We serve the Northern Neck region, too, and have an office in Tappahannock to serve your senior caregiving needs.

Caring for an elderly Mom or Dad can be daunting. Talk to them about their wishes.

If you have an aging parent, you probably have received advice from friends and experts to start talking with your parent now about issues such as finances, health and safety concerns. 

You know you shouldn’t delay any longer, and you definitely should not wait until a crisis occurs. 

However, it is tough to know how to get started.  You respect your parent’s privacy.  You have had no experience or training for this.  It is downright uncomfortable.

You may be thinking,

How do I find out what my parent really wants and what he/she expects from me?

How do I broach sensitive subjects?

What if they get upset with me?

What if they refuse to talk with me?

It’s important to realize it takes just one event to change your parent’s world and yours.  My mother’s health deteriorated rapidly in a 3-month period due to a viral infection.  A seemingly simple fall can result in a broken hip or brain injury.  An aneurysm can result in a coma. 

None of us can predict the future.  But, we certainly can start the conversations with our parent now.  Let me share some tips.

1. Start with an understanding of how your motivation and your parent’s motivation differ.  David Solie in his book, How to Say It To Seniors, tells us that the primary driver in the elderly is to “maintain control.”  That makes sense when you think about the losses they are experiencing; the loss of strength, health, and friends.  As adult children, our primary driver is “safety”!  We have to learn to assist, not insist.
2. Plan a special visit of 2 or 3 days with your parent.  During this time, just plan to be present, listen and walk beside your parent in their daily routines.  This means putting your laptop, blackberry and phone away.   The first time I did this, I was amazed.  I gained insight into my mother’s world, and the experience also helped me transition from my fast-paced world to hers.  A natural result of the visit was a deepened trust and openness between my mother and me.
3. Broach sensitive discussions with thoughtful wording, such as using the phrase, “What If”.  “What if your arthritis gets worse and you need help in your home” or “What if one day you need full-time care?” If your parent doesn’t want to talk about it at that time, know that you’ve planted a seed.  It also helps to share these conversations with your other siblings (who may live states away from you and your parent). Try to get family members on the same page.  

So, start with a sincere desire to understand your parent, their fears, needs and wishes.  Put yourself in their shoes, and listen, non-judgmentally.  Build a foundation of trust and sharing.  That foundation is what will help guide you through the conversations you need to have with your parent now and in the future. 

Want to learn more about communicating with an aging parent and siblings?

Obtain Dale Carter’s entire Ecourse, “Five Essential Strategies to Help Your Aging Parent Face Change” at http://www.transitionagingparents.com/

About Dale Carter

The above article was written by Dale Carter and published with permission.  Dale Carter is the founder of Transition Aging Parents, providing information and insight for adult children of aging parents so they can “thrive and find joy” in every stage of life.  Besides her blog, articles, and newsletter, she hosts a weekly radio show, interviewing authors and experts.  Her book, “The 6 Steps to Guide an Aging Parent through Change & Crisis” will be published later in 2010.

At Home Instead Senior Care

Home Instead Senior Care has many additional resources to help you with having those often difficult conversations with your aging parent.  There is a 40-70 Rule booklet which you can download at this link:  The 40-70 Rule.  You can also reference the website and book, The Stages of Senior Care.  And, lastly, you can preview our Richmond digital brochure here:  Home Instead Senior Care of Richmond.

And, remember, we’re here to help.  Just call our Richmond senior care offices at 804.527.1100 — we’re here for you anytime, day or night, whenever you need assistance.